THE NIGHT

 We had both ignored each other for personal reasons that, if I am being honest, made little sense. Hers was because she had not been feeling too okay, and mine was because I felt the silence was becoming a pattern I was getting tired of. Still, despite everything, we kept sharing reels with each other. Somehow that had become our thing, our quiet way of saying “I’m still here” even when words failed us.

I wanted to wait things out till I could finally see the only girl I love cos i was at work and she was going to resume afternoon, but life had other plans. A friend who has become more like a brother to me had just gotten a job where I work and he i have to help him settle in. I sent my girl a few messages just to check up and let her know what was going on before heading home to close the day. About thirty minutes after I got home, my phone rang. It was her, i know i had told her to reach out to me when she is free, but to my surprise it didn't sound like, her voice sounded tired, cranky, distressed… weak in a way that immediately made my chest tighten. The kind of voice that forces fear into your head before your heart can even process what is happening. I became worried instantly, and at the same time vexed, because I remembered clearly telling her not to go to work if she was not feeling fine. But what could I do now?

I was in the middle of trying to get something to eat, but the only thing on my mind was that my girl was sick and I did not even know what exactly was wrong with her. I immediately called Mr. Usman, explaining the situation and pleading with him to check on her first. I told him she was at the mosque. The moment I ended the call, I got up, told my guy to continue with the cooking, dressed up quickly, grabbed my face cap and rushed out to get a cab back to the office. on getting to the junction, waiting for cab, i saw mr usman's call he told me he ust got to the office and he would be going to see her soon, i thanked  him and ended the call to give my girl a call. she picked and was still sounding the same way only that this time she let out a burst of cry, my heart sank and sadness overwhelmed me. i told her i was coming it was this time i wished i had a car. i called my usman again and he was against my coming cause fair enough i was neither a doctor or a physician the told me they will book an uber to go her house i told him i would meet them at his junction. 

After many trekking and panicking i met them at her junction like we discussed. Mr Usman and I practically squeezed ourselves into the front seat just for her to have the back seat to her self. The whole ride felt heavy, nobody really talked much, my mind was racing too fast for conversations. When we got to her place, we helped her up the stairs seeing her that weak broke something inside me. My head was full of thoughts I could not even arrange properly.

My girl is down, she’s crying and I can do absolutely nothing.

That feeling nearly tore me apart, but I knew I had to stay strong for her. She got inside, and her mother immediately began saying prayers over her. In my mind, I kept thinking, “Wetin be this? Let us get medication, let us get to a hospital or something. But I stayed quiet because I understood everybody was just reacting out of fear and love. Mr. Usman and I could not even properly go close to her. I could not hold her, l could not comfort her the way I wanted to, I just stood there feeling helpless. After a while, her dad agreed to take her to the hospital and honestly that was the first moment I felt a little relieved. We got to the hospital exhausted already, only for the nurses to start doing anyhow, moving slowly like they did not understand the urgency of the situation. It took patience I did not even know I had not to lose my temper there. Eventually, they asked everyone to excuse the doctor so he could attend to her properly. and for the first time that night, standing far from her, powerless, tired, angry, scared. I realized how painful it is to love someone deeply and still not be able to take their pain away.

After a while, I had to head back home. There was nothing more I could do there except wait and hope. But leaving her in that condition felt wrong, every step away from that hospital felt heavy, like I was abandoning someone my heart refused to leave behind. The road home was quiet, but my mind was loud. I kept replaying everything in my head, her shaky voice on the phone, the tears in her eyes, how weak she looked leaning on us while climbing those stairs. I hated how helpless I felt through it all. A man always wants to protect the person he loves and that night all I could do was stand there praying things would get better. Inside the cab, under my breath, I kept saying little prayers.

God please let her be okay.

Please take away whatever pain she is feeling.

Let this not be something serious

I do not even know how many times I repeated them. It was one of those moments where you suddenly realize how fragile people are, how quickly a normal day can turn into fear and panic. When I finally got home, the food I had rushed out and left behind was still there, untouched. Everything felt strange. The house was quiet, Adisa was asleep but my heart was restless. I could not sleep properly. That night taught me something painful, love is not always in the big moments. Sometimes love is panic in your chest, silent prayers in a moving cab and the helpless feeling of wishing you could carry someone else’s pain inside your own body just so they could rest.