The Weight of Entitlement

 I heard a group of friends talk about a mutual friend of theirs how he stopped talking to them after he starts making cool money and all i could just do was laugh and wonder, how did we get here, how did we become this, where did this mentality originate from? Success in Nigeria has become a burden, you see the moment someone starts to do well the world around them starts to shift, most times not with applause but with expectation. As if surviving your struggles and climbing out of the mud is not enough, everyone around suddenly believes you owe them something.

There is a deep sickness growing in our society, a freaking sense of entitlement that says because we are from the same family, tribe or religion, it is a must you help me. Help that is neither asked nor earned, just expectancy. This is a dangerous mindset and it is killing our spirit. The irony is this, those who expect, often contribute the least or nothing at all. They didn’t help you with your journey, but they want to enjoy the results, they didn’t pray with you when you were struggling but now they quote scriptures to guilt trip you into giving. You hear things like God blessed you so you can bless others, we are family, you are my brother, this and that forgetting that without effort there is no result and there is joy in building together.

Simply because we hail from the same root, that somehow becomes a valid reason why their weight must be carried, this is sick and it is emotional blackmail dressed up as loyalty. This mindset doesn’t only harm the people who are doing well, it destroys the entire community. It makes people lazy, teaching them to wait instead of work because why, i mean why strive when you can guilt someone else into feeding you? Why hustle when your brother is chopping the head of his life. This culture of entitlement is not community, real community is built on mutual respect, love and shared effort, not pressure, demands and manipulation. We've replaced appreciation with expectation, respect with resentment and we’ve turned success into a curse.

People now hide their wins, they move in silence and they stop picking calls, not because they are wicked but because they are tired, tired of being used, tired of being drained and tired of being seen as a provider instead of a person. We need to unlearn this poison and note that help should be a gift not a right, support should be based on relationship, not guilt and nobody owes you success just because you were in the same room when they started dreaming. Entitlement kills dreams, It burns bridges, turns love into debt and if we don’t deal with it, we will keep choking the few who manage to rise until there is no one left to pull others up.

We should learn to let people grow, if someone helps you, appreciate it. If they can’t, don’t hate them cause we are all trying to survive in a country that gives us nothing easily. Let’s stop seeing each other as banks, ladders or lifeboats. Let’s start being human again cause the real fight is against poverty.